Physical Self-Love ft Gamu Kavumbura

Thursday, April 04, 2019

What does SELF LOVE – in the context of – physical love - mean to me?
I would define physical self-love as your perception or how you describe your physical being which includes your physical shape and appearance. It’s all about being comfortable in your skin, are you comfortable with being you? Whether you are dark or light skinned, thick or thin, flat chest or big chest, short or tall.

When first did I learn or discover it's importance:
I thought I loved myself, but one day, it occurred to me that I didn’t know what self-love was. I knew what love was. No one needed to remind me that love is patient and kind; I knew how to treat others the way I wanted to be treated, to love others as I loved myself. I’m a decent friend, I’d say. Really, I’ve always loved loving others. Who doesn’t like to feel complete? One might say, however, that part of me had missed the point.

I was preparing for our annual youth camp, and my dad took me shopping. He bought me a nice blue t-shirt written BIG SIS, I don’t know why he chose that specifically but I loved the colour. I wore it on the first day of camp, and everyone made fun of me, you know why? Because I happen to have a big chest, and the t-shirt was written BIG, what a coincidence. I was given lots of nicknames, and I became so conscious of that and became very uncomfortable. I wouldn’t change in front of anyone, and I started wearing huge clothes to cover up for that. It affected my self-esteem, and I didn’t feel pretty or beautiful anymore.
This went on for a long time and I always told myself, the minute I make money I am definitely going for breast reduction. I struggled with this for some time, lingerie shopping wasn’t easy, it was emotionally draining, getting into the shop and you ask for your size, they first look at your chest and then say, sorry we don’t have your size. Some would just say, I don’t think you can fit in that, do you know how demoralizing that is? You can’t wear certain type of clothes because you are worried everyone will notice that you are gifted.

It was about time I had to accept that, this is a part of me that is not going to disappear, instead I should start loving it the way I love and praise my skin (by the way, I have flawless skin). I started looking at my body differently, I felt more confident, I would even make jokes each time I went shopping. And I gained more confidence, I became at peace with my body, and I looked even more beautiful because I felt like a masterpiece inside. I reminded myself that my beauty isn’t defined by someone’s standards. And this was my gamechanger.

Can you imagine the number of remedies that people are offering online just to get that perfect body? I can tell you of the number of times I didn’t want to look myself in the mirror, I hated taking pictures, and I wish there was an edit button just fix the one part of my body I didn’t feel comfortable with.

The body, understood as the physical entity that allows you to act in the external world, is an extremely important part of yourself. Today’s standards of beauty and erroneous perceptions of health have led to hate the shell that houses you. Can you imagine people have gone to the extent of removing ribs just to get that hour glass shape.

How has 'physical self-love ' impacted my life?
There is nothing as freeing as knowing that I am perfect as I am, I don’t have to look at another sister and envy their body or maybe wish if I wasn’t big. I have gained confidence to be me, I can go lingerie shopping and not feel worried of being asked some weird questions. I walk freely and smile at weird comments thrown at me by strangers. I don’t sulk when someone seeing me for the first time make a comment on how my height doesn’t suit my chest size.

What are the 3 most important benefits I have experienced from  physical self love?
1.      Confidence- I don’t wish if I had a different body anymore. I simply love and feel more comfortable in my skin. I don’t take those negative or funny comments thrown at me by people anymore, I simply smile and remind myself I am still His masterpiece.
2.      Peace – I have experienced a certain level of peace. I don’t sit around and surf the net for women with “perfect bodies” and wish if only that was me. I have peace with I am and how I was made.
3.      Love – as myself love increased, my love for other people increased as well. Now I don’t look or comment negatively on another sister’s body part because I know how it feels for people to say things you can’t change.

Any advice to a younger woman struggling in that area:
Start to accept who you are, whether you are light skinned, dark skinned, thin or thick. Remember the definition of beauty is quite relative, and it changes with time. Growing up thick women were preferable, now it’s all about being slender. This is what’s wrong with the world’s standard of beauty, it’s forever changing.  There is nothing wrong with looking good, but just make sure you are beautiful inside out (Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight. 1 Peter 3:3-4 NIV

3 personal nuggets / words of wisdom - For Young Women - By a Woman
·         To lose confidence in one's body is to lose confidence in oneself. Take care of your body. It's the only place you have to live.
·         Stop comparing yourself to those women on the magazines, or the models or that hot actress. Comparison is the thief of joy.
·         Be content, with not looking like anyone else because we know our differences are not reasons to be jealous but God's fingerprint.

Author Profile:
MwanawaShe (Daughter of the King). Lover of Coffee and Jesus, passionate about making Jesus even more famous by spreading His love.
INSTAGRAM: @gamkav/
Facebook: Gee Kavumbura

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