Relational Self Love ft Nyasha Matongo

Sunday, March 31, 2019

Relational Self-Love

What does Relational Self love mean to me?

I’d like to define relational self love as the conscious selection and strengthening of valuable relationships for personal growth and good health. In as much as self love is about loving myself or taking care of myself on a physical, emotional and spiritual level, there’s also need for me to be on the lookout of who I relate to. These relationships could be between you and your partner, friends, workmates, parents, siblings or even that pestering ex boyfriend who’s always sending “I miss you” texts lol.

When did I learn or discover the importance of relational self care?

I learnt the importance of relational self love the hard way. I was that girl whose life would always go in circles and never a straight line. I was in a toxic relationship with a guy who never saw how good I was, all he wanted was for me to live up to his friends’ standards. 

I had broken up with him twice but like most girls out there, I always gave him a chance until we broke up and made up I think about 6 times or more (not counting the times I broke up with him in my head and never had the guts to say it). All this while, my self confidence began to deteriorate and I wasn’t aware. I was never good enough to go on a group date with his friends. I was never pretty enough or dressed good enough to make him the man of the gang and I blamed it all on myself. 

I remember one day being verbally abused for something very silly and it crushed my soul. I was done, for good! I wasn’t going to let anyone undervalue me. It was time to let go and get out of the dark corner I had crept into. The moment I chose to let go of this toxic relationship, my whole life changed. I realized that having the wrong people around you affects how you look at yourself, how you portray yourself to other people and how you even love yourself. 

So it is very important for you to have relations with people who give you positive vibes, people who make you happy because if they don’t you’re doing harm to yourself instead. Be in charge; don’t wait till things go bad. After all, your network is your net worth.

How has relational self care impacted my life?

Monitoring my relational self care has helped me realize my potential. I have learnt to let go of people who don’t contribute positively in my life, people who see me as a failure, and people who do not intentionally lead to my happiness or improvement. Being conscious of my relational self care has made me to surround myself with powerful men and women who do not only encourage me to be a better person, but who believe in me and see the best in me.

What are the 3 most important benefits I have experienced from practicing relational self care?

·      Every day of my life is full of positive vibes.There is always someone to tell me that I can even when everything around me is saying I cannot. My relationships are no longer limited to the people I talk to on a day to day basis. I’ve learnt to relate to greater minds through the bible, social media interaction, books, songs even movies.

       Any advice to a younger woman struggling with relational self care?

You are beautiful and uniquely you. You are not defined by what people see, but what God sees. You deserve to be happy and you deserve to be treated like the queen you are.

3 personal nuggets

·         Proverbs 13:20 “One who walks with the wise becomes wise, but whoever keeps company with fools only hurts himself” (The Voice).
·         Proverbs 14:7 “Walk away from the company of fools for you cannot find insight in their words” (The Voice).
·         Make your relationship with God your number 1 priority and you’ll never go wrong.

Related Material 

5 Practical Types of Self Care | For Christian Women >> Click Here
How to Do a SELF LOVE journey | For Christian Women >> Click Here
10 Self Care Habits on Social Media | For Christian Women >> Click Here

About the Author: 

Fun loving young Christian blogger, model and journalist. Passionate about women and helping people become who God created them to be.

Connect With The Author:

Name: Nyasha Trish Matongo
Instagram: @trishmatongo
Twitter: @trish_matongo
Facebook Page:

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